I want to taste the reptilian appeal

hello hello hello

2005-03-28T05:27:05Z

i am nothing more than a ghost in the snow

dontbefooled00 @ 2005-03-27T21:27:00

2005-03-28T05:26:32Z

long ago...just like the ***** you died to get in again...

hush girl.....

2004-05-20T22:15:07Z

www.livejournal.com/users/hemmorageplexus/

thats gonna be the new one from now on so if you care to add that one and i am deleting this one in three days

In...theatre arts

2004-05-18T13:33:16Z

im in theatre arts right now and im listening to jesse tell me about the fantastic play we are doing...anyway i went to vanity horror stories band practice yesterday, we annihilated anthonys amp, made two molotov cocktails, and watched the new lead singer for vhs not sing at all, yesterday was just awesome...more later.

UNEARTH TONIGHT

2004-05-14T18:03:51Z

UNEARTH TONIGHT EVERYBODY BETTER FUCKING BE THERE!

green paper

2004-05-14T18:02:04Z

what does green paper have to do with my journal you may ask!?...not a damn thing...

oxsxcx

why do your eyes paralyze me?

just when things get worse

2004-05-12T17:56:50Z

fall for my rhetoric tonight
those scars on your wrist say your gullible
im coming home tonight but thank god it's in a casket
who knew an epitaph was so fucking hard to write
but my eulogy was pre-written in indian ink which was unheard of at the time
the revolver in the cabinet always seemed like a good idea
but you were never one for the cliche
and a 9mm love letter has been a little played out
you always loved the touch of cold steel but never enough to pull the trigger
i could list all the reasons that say it was a good idea
and it is as easy to count as your scars are
baby it will be so much easier on me
this noose is only getting tighter
and i'll only stop kicking once your gone
i've fooled death before
and tonights no different
i'll keep laughing from these gallows
and there's always that pistol
do me a favor
end this in a gallant display of affection

would you die for me?

oxsxcx

Okay, mexicans need more respect

2004-05-11T18:55:09Z

like the title say mexicans need more respect and im out to prove probably only to jonesy and riki that i am more mexican than him...Jonesy is mexican now but only because anthony adopted him and because of his butterfly knife...the show sunday was really good except for this kid mike who i think wanted to suck my dick..ha ha ha ha....band practice today...more later

and this is what it comes down to

2004-05-10T17:40:28Z

The Cold day that She Set Ablaze

Today I had my very own conviction. It's hot in this room i can't bare it. When your face disapeared i feared for the best. I hoped for the worst. I see you through my rearview mirror. Stop this car now. Do you remember that night she came home with messy hair and smeared lipstick all over her neck? She was the one that i spent the night with. She could only scream that night. Backseats were the perfect place for a group prayer. It's too cold and dark tonight so light a candle and bathe yourself in gasoline.

that song is so fucking amazing

oxsxcx

die white girls

2004-05-05T23:53:53Z

This isn't at all unpleasant.
I'm enchanted by the lavish ballet,
and I'll whistle the tune all the way to the gallows
that I heard at the cabaret.
At the sheriff's signal,
the orchestra moves the floor.
Don't it make you feel wonderful?
Body twisting strictly ballroom.
Criminally elegant,
ideal postured Viennese waltzer.
I'm dressed to kill.
I'm weightless and well rehearsed.
In my godless opera my characater is canonized.
Uphand me.
This is a musical and nothing goes wrong.
Can't keep the classics out of the head of the masochists.
Strike up the band.
It's 245 beats for a measure or 5 beats
per 6 steps on alternating feet.
The show must go on.
Never mind the teeth and fingernails,
the show must go on.
I don't feel at all like I thought I would,
but I could probably go on like this forever.
Tonight,
we dance,
for tomorrow they release the dogs.
1,2,3.
Keep it up.
1,2,3.
Savor it.
(Where is my head? Where is my heart?)
Everything vanishes.

she sure as hell aint you but lord knows she'll have to do...

the balls in your court now

2004-05-01T18:49:29Z

die white girls
bye bye world

when down the street the corner boys fuck shit up

2004-04-30T22:23:42Z

well things didn't turn out as planned, but then again they never do....sitting around listening to coheed...me and allie talked today. it was sorta weird but we were laughing pretty much the whole time

its too late to find a better way out of this, with the finest regards that i lost in the cracks of this street

i want to taste the reptilian appeal

dead

2004-04-30T17:57:32Z

At birth given scars along tender heart liberties
injustice for awkward living situated causalities
they lay dead along your floor
careful not to wake them they're sleeping
in the morrows good mourning
the dying will discard the wish to live
let this colony know in the name of the dead we're coming

When I kill her, I'll have her
Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon your name
Die white girls, die white girls
Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon the graves of the dead

you'll get nothing for something
arise the hidden war of a dead song, unsung
the night of your children's day
beneath the surface sealed by the floors boarded up
seal the lips of your voice with haste
and cower at the sounds as they make their way
surprise speed and malice
the opposing break the surface hold ready
will the killing veil love should the heroes play dumb
but killing's no fun when the heroes are none
bye, bye world

nothing much to say, hope things go well, going to talk to jessica, in school, more after i get home...

dont let them scare you

2004-04-29T21:24:27Z

"wu tang clan ain't nothing to mess with"

Okay, what to do what to do, it would be fantastic to talk to jessica anytime soon but shes never around...ugghhhh its lame...i want...i dont know but Jessica, i would like to see things work out between us..........................

bye bye world
bye bye world
die white girls
die white girls

watch as i ever so slightly die to the silence of a room with LSD staring down my back

2004-04-28T17:43:51Z

And now, we proudly present
songs perverse and songs of lament.
A couple of hymns of confession,
and songs that recognize our sick obsessions.
Sing along- I'm on the ugly organ again.
Sing along- I'm on the ugly organ, so lets begin.
There's no use to keep a secret,
everything I hide ends up in lyrics...
so read on- accuse me when you're done-
if it sounds like I did you wrong.

Our father, who art in heaven,
save me from this wreck I'm about to drown in.
Didn't I learn anything counting out
my sins on rosary beads?
The reverend plays on the ugly organ;
he spews out his sweet ad salty sermon
on the audience.

...So why do I think I'm any different?

I've been making money off my indifference.
We all pass the hat around,
'This is my body', this is the blood I found
on my hands after I wrote this album.
Play it off as stigmata for crossover fans...
some red handed sleight of hand.

Woah oh.

In school with nothing to do like yesterday...bored as hell...cant wait till i get home to blast ETID. It will be great and beautiful...sorta like someone i know....<3

she sure as hell aint you but lord knows she'll have to do

2004-04-27T18:32:56Z

kill

me

<3

And then i remembered that she was the only thing i ever needed

2004-04-26T17:25:40Z

I then i realized that she was the only thing that i've ever needed. She's beautiful, although i may be moving sometime soon but who knows, i want to make this work this time around and im ready to do what ever it takes to make her happy. "baby i swear to god tonight im sober, it's the reception between us thats failing, everythings coming out all frenzied and confused, She has what it takes to make falling a habit and a dance out of a tantrum fit, its tragic but im sobering up, pick up the phone, tonight i feel like the hero of a rustic war, my touch has the timeing and precision of a car wreck."

she is jessica and she is beautiful

Baseball Bats and Molotov Cocktails

2004-04-19T23:52:18Z

If you walk from ft drum to black river and back...your feet will hurt....

Bring Your Own Crew Crew

president's bullet-ridden body in the street ride, johnny ride kennedy's shattered head hits concrete ride, johnny ride johnny's wife is floundering johnny's wife is scared run, jackie run texas is an outrage when your husband is dead texas is an outrage when they pick up his head texas is the reason that the president's dead you gotta suck, suck, jackie suck president's bullet-ridden body in the street ride, johnny ride kennedy's shattered head hits concrete ride, johnny ride texas is an outrage when your husband is dead texas is an outrage when they pick up his head texas is the reason that the president's dead you gotta suck, suck, jackie suck arise jackie o, jonathon of kennedy well, arise and be shot down the dirt's gonna be your dessert my cum be your life source and the only way to get it is to suck or fuck or be poor and devoid and masturbate me, masturbate me then slurp it from your palm like a dry desert soaking up rain soaking up sun like a dry desert soaking up rain soaking up sun

"my touch has the timing and precision of a car wreck"

the cello is a beautiful instrument like the pistol

2004-04-18T20:47:10Z

school tomorrow and im sitting around not doing any work that i need to be doing.....

Blast
oxygen masks
smoke filled cabin
Depressurize
don't be afraid
hold onto me
We're goin down
but not our love

Death
don't seem so bad
when I'm with you
My only love
so close your eyes
Kiss me one last time
We're gonna Die
but not our love
not our love

everytime you walk by me and dont notice me, part of me dies

2004-04-18T03:42:02Z

I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,

I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so over-dosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy.

I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway

I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I'm my own worst enemy

a little less than jake and things are nice, what can i say about tonight....nothing...its good....

if im a writer
and im a poet
i might love you
but never show it
you should forget me
this is a long tour
and ill be back but
not in time for

"my touch has the timing and presicion of a car wreck"

I Cut Thourgh The Tendons That Make Me Inferior

2004-04-17T18:04:15Z

i cut through the tendons that me me inferior
i cut through the vains that lead me to beleive otherwise
i create a mural for you in blood
it never turns out how i want it to
only moonlight reveals its true passion
we all bleed black
but only in the moonlight

BORED...there is nothing to do around my house....rob came over last night and it was pretty cool....FETUS...is Charles Leonard III...he is the new age fetus, we were shooting ideas through our heads about song ideas and stuff like that....and we slept in the same bed, ha ha ha ha, and we sang....yeah. We have some joke songs in the process..it should turn out really interesting. I love how other people talk about me in other journals....who knows...maybe i will become an upstanding citizen....CWA!!

"My touch has the timing and precision of a car wreck"

Only i have legal right to steal this thing because i am mexican!!!!

2004-04-16T05:03:01Z

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less.

Ask me anything you want.

Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything....

Now lets see how many clever people there are around this journal community who can think of anything messed up enough to ask me????.....fake taunt...

Watch as children slit their throats on their fathers words

2004-04-16T04:42:49Z

"who says gunshot wounds means we learned anything"

Gunshot, like it mattered
Your blood on the wall splattered
Your skull broken and shattered
Now the evidence gathered
My thoughts are left battered
Cause your words left me flattered
Now your on the ground tattered
That's right your on the ground tattered

Its not as bad as I feared
Cause your on the ground dear
A bullet tried to present
But now ill turn and forget

Wake up, had a nightmare
And it all seems so unfair
How you could just die there
And for me to just not care
Its too much for me to bare
At your grave and I just stare
We seemed like a good pair
But you had to die there

It is worse than I feared
Cause you were on the ground dear
A bullet would represent
And i can't turn and forget

one bullet left in the chamber
maybe now i'll get some peace and quiet
one bullet left in the chamber
maybe now i'll get some peace and quiet
one bullet left in the chamber
maybe now i'll get some peace and quiet

"russian roulette"

now what do you say to that???
watch as children slit their troats on their fathers words
watch as these wound re-open
its erotic
exotic
i hope it turns you on this time,
because i wont do this alone
i couldn't handle it the first time
your such a sucker
lie here with me and feel the anxiety
enthralling
let me make love to you tonight
let the world know what we go through
let our fathers see what happens with their words
are you proud of me dad
i sure do hope so
i cant take another let down tonight

feeling poetic tonight....thats about it

i love that when the stars are out i never see your face

Dont be Fooled

your such a sucker

2004-04-13T04:36:57Z

Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms

Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever

trying to make one of the biggest decisions of my life right now....what else is going on?...well me and rob are serious as hell about this band and were planning on asking dave is he would like to lead us in being the guitarist, just trying to figure out what im doing now....justins really helping me in my decision, anyway, theres a girl i got my eyes on but then there are so many things going on with relationships right now that i dont know whats gonna happen i just hope things will work this time round (hinting towards things getting fucked up before). I want thins band thing to work out this time, it seems like it will because me and rob have the same plans for a band and we already wrote which seems to be a really good song...i guess only time will tell. (Your such a sucker, and you never cease to amaze me)...everyone who reads this journal you have to go to a Vanity Horror Stories show, not only are they some of the most talented guys around, they are some of the sexiest...well im done for now, until next time.....

like a bed of roses there are a dozen reason in this gun

you dont apoligize
i hope you choke and die

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2004-04-05T18:55:39Z

pressed the seven sequenced silver panic buttons,
the distress calls that fall on a distracted short-wave signal.
a metronome timed to my panic stricken breathing
and a pulse conducted by our dying lines.
you said my heart sounded like a payphone in the rain.
distorted, distant, scrambled and desperate.
baby, i swear to god tonight i am sober.
it's the reception between us that's failing.
everything's coming out all frenzied and confused.
she's got what it takes to make collapsing a habit
and a dance out of a tantrum fit (it's tragic but i am sobering up).
pick up the phone.
tonight i feel like the hero of a rusting war.
my touch has the timing and precision of a car wreck.
no use translating the trembles.
they're symptoms of repetitive testing for fluctuation.
if i come back home, i am bringing back the bends.
so give me a kiss. let me taste the reptilian appeal.
say it again baby. does it turn you on? does it get you hot?
i get a little hysterical sometimes.
the panic you shouldn't have been so sentimental.
all that kicking and screaming.
everything i touch starts peeling.
we malfunction like machines.
get up off the floor and answer the phone.
i want to be a big star.
didn't want to touch so hard.
open the door.
i am your deviant satellite, an orbit defected by the ballast of words.
you're the reason for collisions.
i am face down like a sailor washed up under your window.
tonight is a shipwreck.
navigating through disorder.
now every electric star hums like a telecaster.
how punk rock is that?
you're so oblivious.
baby, you're my oblivion.

ever been caught in the rain and wonder why the dried blood wont run....ever been caught in the moonlight and wonder why the blood seems black.....ever die just to come back and be shot down again....ever slit your own throat just to end up watching yourself die anyway....

I haven't posted in this journal in a real long time but im back....yes i am...there has been a lot of shit thats gone on, well i went out with allie for exactly one month and i ended it today, yet i feel like shit because i dont feel bad at all....oh well, she didn't really know me, she knew my representative....just the person i wanted her to meet....she didn't know what ive been through and quite frankly i doubt she could understand....i like having hope in my blind eyes....Everything else has just been music and school...mostly music, i have to wait a couple of days for my fingers to calluos over before i can pick up the bass again....ive been writing some crazy lines recently....its awesome. Schools been ok i guess, nothing extreamly special going on except for me and sam-e's point system....i think it's cute (without the Q). I cant wait till vacation, i plan on hanging out with dave and anthony and a bunch of other people....its gonna be crazy....ive been writing a lot of song lately too....i guess ive just been in a good mood...funny, im actually in a better mood now more than ever now that im actually writing in this thing again...heh heh heh....better...well i am off again until next time.....

Dont be Fooled

"my touch has the timing and precision of a car wreck."

my shooting starr his dimmed